It's Monday night and all day long I've been struggling with my race recap. I had over 9 hours of driving and all day today to think about about my race and how I actually feel about my performance. There is so much to be proud of and yet something inside of me is angry. I feel like the hills of Nashville got the best of me. I keep justifying not hitting my goal on the course, weather and my injury. In my mind they are all excuses but I guess every endurance athlete has a bad day. Ok....I feel a little better getting that off my chest now for the lessons learned and my race experience.
I arrived into Nashville on Thursday night after a long drive. The only thing I wanted to do was run a few miles and knock off the rust. Instead of running the four I had set my mind on I actually listened to my body and only pulled off three just long enough to give me a good nights sleep.
Friday went by in a flash. Probably because of the anticipation of the next days event. I got to meet new friends, had fun and learned some stuff at the expo and had the pasta dinner preparing for the race in the morning. The quiet time alone in the hotel room is where my mind started to stir. I kept going over my game plan, my pacing and my fueling strategy to get through the 26.2 miles. Needless to say with all of this circling my mind I didn't sleep to sound.
Race day is finally here and after months of training the time had come for this moment. All of my morning preparations had been completed. Before I knew it I was in the corral. I was one of the first sitting on the ground stretching my injured hamstring. The hills of Nashville were on my mind as I loosened up. I didn't quite know what to expect out of my hamstring. In my prior long runs it was giving me a solid 10 miles before acting up so with it taped and on some rest due to the taper I was hoping for the best.
The National Anthem was sung by Danny Gokey and honestly that's all I remembered from the start. I felt like I was in a zone. Before I knew it my corral was released and finally I was off running.The first 2 miles went by in a flash. My legs felt light and my strides were smooth. I'm not sure why, but in every race that I've run there has been an emotional wave crash down on me and this wasn't any different. Entering the 3rd mile and rounding a corner I saw a guy standing there cheering the runners. Normally this wouldn't cause me to tear up but he had his dog with him. A mixed boxer that looked like my Sammy who I lost just a month prior to the race. I made eye contact with his dog and just like that Sammy was with me again.
I carried her memory with me for the next few miles until I was side tracked with the overwhelming urge to pee. Mile 6 is where I lost two minutes for my pit stop. We had already climbed some steep hills and from what the map of the course looked like I only had to get through another two miles before it flattened out. My hamstring didn't give me any issues and I knew, or so I thought I knew that the next two miles were going to be the toughest climb in the race.
Mile 7 came and the funniest moment of the race happened. As I was pacing along focusing on my stride I passed a corner with some supporters when a woman standing with her friend shouted "Oh my God, marry me !!" All I could do was laugh and I kindly replied with "Sorry I've got somewhere to be." Now I'm not sure where that came from but it did make me laugh as I pressed on.
Cruising along with no pain or issues I felt like I was running my race. I had completely forgotten about my hamstring issue until mile 12 when it decided to remind me it was still there. My thoughts were well that's two more miles than normal and with the pain quickly going away I felt it was going to be a good day. At the halfway point I was on pace to hit my goal. I had reached 13.1 miles faster than I ever had before and I wasn't pushing my pace. It was an easy comfortable run to that point. Then mile 15 came and the race began to unravel.
Mile 15 was up a steep incline that I wasn't expecting. I knew there were a few small hills left on the course but the map didn't show this monster. At this point is where my hamstring wanted to quit. It was pulling and getting tight. Tight enough I had to stop for a few seconds to stretch it out. Up the hill I went and at the peak I knew I was in trouble. I knew my goal was probably going to be out the window because the pain wasn't going away so I made a conscience decision to adjusted the goal and set a new PR.
I was slowing and my leg had a hard time extending. My form was getting sloppy and all I could focus on was my hamstring. As the miles went on my leg wouldn't open up so my shoe kept clipping my ankle rubbing it raw. At this point in the day the spring sun was beating down and at the aide stations they had volunteers spraying hoses for the runners as we passed by. At mile 18 my leg was completely gone and I had to readjust my goal to just finishing the race. All of the hard training through the winter months came down to just finishing. A very sobering and disappointing moment.
At mile 19.6 I passed a house full of supporters. They had a microphone plugged into some speakers to cheer on the runners. The guy behind the mic saw me struggling and noticed my Ohio State hat. He came on the mic and said "Come on Buckeye !!" I smiled until he came back with "O-H..." I shouted back "I-O !!" and the house cheered as I slowly passed on. There is something about being from the Buckeye state gets me fired up. That encounter got me to mile 23.
In the fall this is where I hit the wall. My energy level crashed because I didn't stick to my fueling game plan. This time around there was no wall to hit. I fueled perfectly and I felt like I could go faster my leg just wouldn't let me. Mile 23 was through a park and yet another steep hill. Small, but steep and there were plenty of people starting to walk. This is where I changed my goal one last time. Finishing was in sight so I only wanted to beat the guy with the red mohawk in the daisy dukes (not fun to be running behind I might add) and the girl who kept sprinting, walking and sprinting (I was getting irritated with her for some reason).
As we climbed the last hill coming to mile 25 I began to get emotional again. I can't say why. Maybe it was the way the race played out. Maybe it was because I didn't hit my goal or maybe it was because I knew I had pushed my body so hard when most people would have quit. I'm still not sure and I'm OK with not knowing.
Coming to the end of the race my playlist hit the song 'Till I Collapse. I was the perfect song to cross the finish line strong. I crossed the line and unlike in Columbus where I raised my hands excited and happy I looked down and cursed my hamstring. I received my medal and immediately went to the aide station for them to wrap my hamstring with ice. I grabbed a few bottles of water and some fruit bites and found a place to sit. It just so happened that it was in the middle of the parking lot of LP field. I layed back and just enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the nice breeze that was blowing. Some peaceful moments during all of the racing chaos to gather my thoughts.
There is something to be said about endurance athletes and I was recently reminded that we are a gutsy group of people and that "running is not defined by the days we go out with a number pinned to your chest." I finished the task at hand and I am proud of that. There will always be another race and I'm grateful for what Nashville has taught me and I'll use that knowledge to grow as an athlete doing something that I love, running.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Adjusting the Lens
This past year has been one amazing ride. One that I will say has been well deserved after the road that I've traveled the past few. The mental, emotional and physical transformation that I have gone through has made me a stronger more resilient man. Being able to take a step back and see that I've come full circle has been a blessing in disguise.
Today I am only two weeks away from my second Marathon. April 30th is exactly 364 days past my first ever race. I never knew or realized that a year ago running and racing could have changed my life. I'm a different, better man all because of the self discipline, commitment and dedication running has taught me. All principals that I try to apply to my daily life. I recently had some time to reflect back on the past year when I received a kind note of support.
This winter has been hard. In the beginning I enjoyed the challenge of hitting the road and fighting the weather. The cold, snow, freezing rain and sub zero wind chills were just another challenge to push myself through. It would be a lie to say that come the end of February and all of March didn't wear me down. Training for a spring Marathon is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. The mental and physical strain that a body and mind go through is extremely taxing. All of that was compounded by the loss of my beautiful friend and companion of the past 13 years, Sammy. That emotional loss of the only staple in my life over the past 13 years made it harder to get out the door for my runs, but knowing that she could finally run with me like she was a young pup again made those hard days pass by a little easier.
As the winter moved on through and my complaints grew louder there came a point that I couldn't see the forest threw the trees. My body was beginning to fail me. My calf went first, then my Achilles and most recently my hamstring. I was logging more miles than I ever had before. There is something inside of me pushing and pushing to get better and faster. These injuries were only scars of my dedication and like the self confident fool that I can sometimes be; I ignored what my body was telling me.
As I sit here reflecting on the past year I'm a little ashamed of the days when I let my negative attitude break through. With that being said I guess I'm only human and that may happen from time to time. I am, however grateful that my body hasn't completely failed me. I am still patiently waiting for my hamstring to heal but the other injuries have passed and I'm extremely thankful for that.
Today, April 16, 2011 I'm adjusting my lens. My heart is torn between what could be, and my ultimate goal. Although I don't have an official trainer or training partner I have a friend who has followed my progress is unable to run the next Marathon on her schedule due to an injury. My heart goes out knowing all of the hard work and dedication she has put into training through the cold winter months to prepare for this race. Knowing the type of person she is I know that she will come back stronger because that's what runners do. We NEVER give up. So get better Maureen and even though we've never met I appreciate all of your support and advice as I learn this crazy sport we love.
The flip side of this coin, and my ultimate goal is being lived right now by another runner who has been ever so giving to share her first experience of running the Boston Marathon. Witnessing all of the emotions that are being poured into this weekend and through the race on Monday are truly inspiring. Maybe only runners can appreciate this accomplishment and what it means to have the privilege to cross Hopkinton Rd but I wanted to take just a moment to congratulate Jane on reaching her dream and being so kind to share it.Ohio is pulling for you so enjoy your moment.You've earned it.
All of this is just lessons in life. Never take for granted of what you have and never ever give up on your dreams. This isn't just about running it's about what we all need and look for daily to be happy. Take that first step and find your happiness everyone deserves it.
Today I am only two weeks away from my second Marathon. April 30th is exactly 364 days past my first ever race. I never knew or realized that a year ago running and racing could have changed my life. I'm a different, better man all because of the self discipline, commitment and dedication running has taught me. All principals that I try to apply to my daily life. I recently had some time to reflect back on the past year when I received a kind note of support.
This winter has been hard. In the beginning I enjoyed the challenge of hitting the road and fighting the weather. The cold, snow, freezing rain and sub zero wind chills were just another challenge to push myself through. It would be a lie to say that come the end of February and all of March didn't wear me down. Training for a spring Marathon is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. The mental and physical strain that a body and mind go through is extremely taxing. All of that was compounded by the loss of my beautiful friend and companion of the past 13 years, Sammy. That emotional loss of the only staple in my life over the past 13 years made it harder to get out the door for my runs, but knowing that she could finally run with me like she was a young pup again made those hard days pass by a little easier.
As the winter moved on through and my complaints grew louder there came a point that I couldn't see the forest threw the trees. My body was beginning to fail me. My calf went first, then my Achilles and most recently my hamstring. I was logging more miles than I ever had before. There is something inside of me pushing and pushing to get better and faster. These injuries were only scars of my dedication and like the self confident fool that I can sometimes be; I ignored what my body was telling me.
As I sit here reflecting on the past year I'm a little ashamed of the days when I let my negative attitude break through. With that being said I guess I'm only human and that may happen from time to time. I am, however grateful that my body hasn't completely failed me. I am still patiently waiting for my hamstring to heal but the other injuries have passed and I'm extremely thankful for that.
Today, April 16, 2011 I'm adjusting my lens. My heart is torn between what could be, and my ultimate goal. Although I don't have an official trainer or training partner I have a friend who has followed my progress is unable to run the next Marathon on her schedule due to an injury. My heart goes out knowing all of the hard work and dedication she has put into training through the cold winter months to prepare for this race. Knowing the type of person she is I know that she will come back stronger because that's what runners do. We NEVER give up. So get better Maureen and even though we've never met I appreciate all of your support and advice as I learn this crazy sport we love.
The flip side of this coin, and my ultimate goal is being lived right now by another runner who has been ever so giving to share her first experience of running the Boston Marathon. Witnessing all of the emotions that are being poured into this weekend and through the race on Monday are truly inspiring. Maybe only runners can appreciate this accomplishment and what it means to have the privilege to cross Hopkinton Rd but I wanted to take just a moment to congratulate Jane on reaching her dream and being so kind to share it.Ohio is pulling for you so enjoy your moment.You've earned it.
All of this is just lessons in life. Never take for granted of what you have and never ever give up on your dreams. This isn't just about running it's about what we all need and look for daily to be happy. Take that first step and find your happiness everyone deserves it.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Who We Are
Life is a crazy sport ! We play this game of life hoping that if we win we will be truly happy. Most of the time we don't even realize that the clock is ticking until something traumatic happens that makes us call for a time out. Unlike the sports we enjoy on TV, our time outs in life can, at times bring us to our knees and shake our souls. After my 20 mile run yesterday I realized that my life was in one of those time outs over the past week.
It's funny how the solitude of a run can help me deal with my thoughts and emotions. So at the crack of dawn, on a Sunday, when the world is still fast away in their beds I headed out hoping to start my game of life again.This past week I had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life and I was hoping that somewhere along those 20 miles I would make peace with my decision.
In 1998, looking for an addition to my home I ventured out to the local dog pound after seeing a cute picture in the paper. Something about that picture of a mixed boxer, head cocked to one side sucked me right in. She was just a pup maybe 8 months old. She was abused and malnourished and slated to be euthanized if she wasn't adopted. There was something about her dominate personality that almost said
"Well Mr. Vanek I choose you so let's do what we have to do and get out of here."
Home now, and her official name became Samantha (Sammy) Vanek. The first few years were eventful to say the least. This loving pup was growing up to be a gorgeous dog. One that loved to test me and test her boundaries. Those first few years were scenes right out of the movie "Turner and Hooch" minus the slobber and drool. She loved to test me daily to see who was the boss and she learned very quick to talk back just like a sassy teenager. It'd be a lie to say I won all of these disputes. The fact is that I have a soft heart when it comes to my animals and sometimes I would just give in to that adorable grin.
As the years moved on so did our relationship. We moved to Kentucky and back. I was in a relationship one that Sammy seemed to love. She became protector of the home. To some degree I think that because she couldn't have any puppies herself she protected the kids as if they were her own. That sense of protection almost cost her life. On a late summer day the mailman came to deliver the mail. Sammy jumped full force against the front window and it shattered. Her front legs going through and as she pulled back sliced them up. She was in bad shape and we didn't know if she was going to make it. I will give credit and thank my now ex-wife for making the decision to spend the money to try and save her. Sammy recovered months later with only a slight limp. This was just another testament to her will to live and survive.
Time seemed to just slow as life just played out. I watched her face turn grey, as the game of life played on. We lost our friend Buster my old golden retriever and then we lost our family when my marriage fell apart. Sammy took it hard when the kids weren't around anymore. She spent weeks laying in their beds until she decided to let go. This heartbreak was one that made our bond stronger.
On Thursday, my trusted old dog gave me a look from her spot on the couch that I understood. She was tired and was ready. With tears in my eyes and my heart shattered I knew what I had to do for this dog who gave me so much love. Friday March 4, 2011 at 6:06 pm my faithful partner of the past 13 years passed while laying in my arms leaving behind a loving dad and brother (Hunter).
During this time out in my life I started to think about who we are. With some very kind gestures, comments and support during this hard time it hit me that friendship makes us who we are. Taking time out of ourselves to give to one another is what we are placed on this marble to do. Sometimes it's a helping hand or a gentle smile that gets us through a tough day. Sometimes it's that simple gesture to let you know you're not alone and you can lean on someone and sometimes, on that rare occasion you are given the precious gift of time and companionship that touches every fiber of your heart and soul.
Unconditional love is what we all are looking for in this game of life. Dogs were put here to show us exactly what it feels like to have that touch our hearts. That is why it's so hard to say goodbye. Sammy, Hunter and I miss you everyday. I miss you talking back, I miss you stealing my shoes to sleep with or my dirty clothes to lay down with. I am going to miss looking over at you on the couch when we are watching TV. Most of all I'm going to miss you as my friend and all of the little things you did that just made me smile. Sammy you taught me how to be a friend, how to do the small things that may mean the world to someone, and in the wake of you moving on, you had the power to bring out the kindness and compassion from the people in my life. You were an amazing friend Sammy, I will never forget you. Thank you for sharing your life with me.
Samantha Vanek 1998-2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Challenges
It's February 2011, and the dead of winter in Northeast Ohio. As with most of the population in this part of the country cabin fever begins to creep into our souls. We still have weeks of cold, grey days that will test all of us who choose to live here. For some reason I've been reflecting on my life the past few weeks. Maybe it was my upcoming birthday, maybe it was just time to reevaluate the course of my life or maybe it was just a week of challenges that I faced. In recent years I've become a firm believer in taking inventory of my life and looking back at the road I've been traveling to make sure that the path I've been running is leading me to happiness.
The week leading up to my birthday was a roller coaster physically and emotionally. I had the feeling of being lost, turned around and not knowing what direction to turn. I'm not sure how I got lost, but before I knew it I felt as if I was in the middle of a forest not knowing how to get out, and with no one around to hear me ask for help. So with this overwhelming, uncomfortable feeling filling my heart I did what I always do to sort out my issues. I laced up the shoes put the gloves and hat on and went running.
I believe that I'm a good person. A man that always tries to make the right decisions. Although my approach doesn't always coincide with the main stream I generally believe I'm doing what's right or in better words, believe that the consequences of my decisions will make everyone in my life stronger. The past several weeks have tested the very fiber of who I am. These hurdles needed to be jumped so I could put my mind at ease.
In the past week the old saying "blood is thicker than water" kept crawling through my brain and each time it crept into my mind an anger filled my heart. This anger has made me question who I am as a man, friend and father. During my runs I've had to evaluate each scenario that had played out over the past few weeks to put these challenges behind me. I've realized (something that most people probably all ready know) that even though the outcome of my decisions don't always give me what I want in the immediate future I have to believe and be patient that they will bring happiness into my life later down the road. It's amazing how the solitude of running and the simple cadence of my stride can help put my world into perspective.
Last nights birthday run definitely made me look at my life in a different light. The events in my life over the past several years has changed me. I use to be one of those people just going through the motions of everyday life. This, I believe, is one of the reasons my marriage crumbled. A man just going through the motions of everyday life attempting to squeeze in some "me" time by running or cutting the grass. The divorce made me change my ways. I became a man that is an absolute pleaser. A man that has no balance or ability to distinguish between what's right for me verses just making my friends or family happy.
At the top of a hill 2.5 miles into my run last night I paused as all of these thoughts washed over me. I looked back at the steep hill I just climbed thinking "that hill use to kick my ass" and smiled because it's nothing to me anymore. I turned around picked up my pace and enjoyed one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. The sun sinking, behind the snow covered hills and bare trees of the sleeping landscape while casting a gorgeous pink sky in the distance. Smiling because in that moment all of the challenges that I've been dealing with felt as if they were behind me just like that old hill that I use to struggle with.
As I continue to be a pillar for those in my life I know that my new challenge is to find that elusive balance I didn't know I was looking for. Somehow I believe that as long as my feet continue to hit the ground in perfect cadence I will find that balance and then maybe, just maybe I'll be able to start a new chapter in my life.Until that is ready to be written I'm just going to smile and continue to enjoy who I am, and who I'm becoming. I'm going to soak up my personal growth because I believe it's going to bring me to happiness.
The week leading up to my birthday was a roller coaster physically and emotionally. I had the feeling of being lost, turned around and not knowing what direction to turn. I'm not sure how I got lost, but before I knew it I felt as if I was in the middle of a forest not knowing how to get out, and with no one around to hear me ask for help. So with this overwhelming, uncomfortable feeling filling my heart I did what I always do to sort out my issues. I laced up the shoes put the gloves and hat on and went running.
I believe that I'm a good person. A man that always tries to make the right decisions. Although my approach doesn't always coincide with the main stream I generally believe I'm doing what's right or in better words, believe that the consequences of my decisions will make everyone in my life stronger. The past several weeks have tested the very fiber of who I am. These hurdles needed to be jumped so I could put my mind at ease.
In the past week the old saying "blood is thicker than water" kept crawling through my brain and each time it crept into my mind an anger filled my heart. This anger has made me question who I am as a man, friend and father. During my runs I've had to evaluate each scenario that had played out over the past few weeks to put these challenges behind me. I've realized (something that most people probably all ready know) that even though the outcome of my decisions don't always give me what I want in the immediate future I have to believe and be patient that they will bring happiness into my life later down the road. It's amazing how the solitude of running and the simple cadence of my stride can help put my world into perspective.
Last nights birthday run definitely made me look at my life in a different light. The events in my life over the past several years has changed me. I use to be one of those people just going through the motions of everyday life. This, I believe, is one of the reasons my marriage crumbled. A man just going through the motions of everyday life attempting to squeeze in some "me" time by running or cutting the grass. The divorce made me change my ways. I became a man that is an absolute pleaser. A man that has no balance or ability to distinguish between what's right for me verses just making my friends or family happy.
At the top of a hill 2.5 miles into my run last night I paused as all of these thoughts washed over me. I looked back at the steep hill I just climbed thinking "that hill use to kick my ass" and smiled because it's nothing to me anymore. I turned around picked up my pace and enjoyed one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. The sun sinking, behind the snow covered hills and bare trees of the sleeping landscape while casting a gorgeous pink sky in the distance. Smiling because in that moment all of the challenges that I've been dealing with felt as if they were behind me just like that old hill that I use to struggle with.
As I continue to be a pillar for those in my life I know that my new challenge is to find that elusive balance I didn't know I was looking for. Somehow I believe that as long as my feet continue to hit the ground in perfect cadence I will find that balance and then maybe, just maybe I'll be able to start a new chapter in my life.Until that is ready to be written I'm just going to smile and continue to enjoy who I am, and who I'm becoming. I'm going to soak up my personal growth because I believe it's going to bring me to happiness.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 Year End Review
It's amazing how fast this year has gone. Most people are welcoming the start of the new year as an opportunity to start over, start fresh, and toss the old out to the curb. As the year was winding down I couldn't help but think to myself all of the new year's resolutions that will be made and not kept. I guess the new year gives people hope and hope is a good thing to have, but from what I've learned this past year hope is only a small piece of the puzzle. Change only comes from a desire to be a better, stronger and more caring person. This is a decision we all have the ability to make each and every day when we open our eyes.
I welcomed 2010 just like everyone else wanting and hoping for a better year. I guess I thought fate would play a large part in how the year unraveled and to some degree this is true. Somewhere around February I realized that my choices were going to have a larger impact on how good or bad my year turned out. I made the decision to break through my glass ceiling and turn my love of running into my lifestyle.
I registered for my first half marathon and ran it in May. The results were not what I expected or desired. I crossed that finish line my emotions seemed to take over the "Joe" that was weak and beat up from a failed marriage and that constant feeling of failure seemed to leave my heart. I began to believe that I could conquer anything.
The months rolled and the running mile began to pile up. Before I knew it I was back in Columbus, Ohio for my second half marathon. I was feeling strong and confident. A new "Joe" was emerging. At the end of that race I had a noticeable improvement in speed and endurance. Later that afternoon at a running expo promoting the Columbus Marathon I decided this was going to be my next accomplishment. I left Columbus to head home and didn't quite realize the road I was on. My year was unraveling in a way I never expected and it was all because of my daily choice to get stronger not only as a runner but as a person.
October 17, 2010 the Columbus Marathon. Wow was I nervous! I'm in Columbus flying solo and it was like everything that I had experienced over the past few years was challenging me all over again. The gun sounded and I was off and running. The range of emotions that I battled over those 26.2 miles transformed me into a stronger man a transformation that I didn't expect. All of the heartache, weakness, confusion and anger was left behind me littering the streets of Columbus.
So last night when I was out celebrating the New Year all of this started to cross my mind. The "Joe" that started the year was definitely not the same that was finishing it. I smiled throughout the night as I listened to people state their new resolutions, but somewhere knowing most of those new beginnings will fall to the wayside as 2011 passes through. I've let go of some toxic thoughts and feelings that have been polluting my heart and mind for the past several years and I'm stronger for it. 2010 I learned to be comfortable in my own skin. There is a common misconception that people don't change. After 2010 I can firmly say that they do and they can. It's a choice we all have the ability to make, but it's a choice we have to make every day until it becomes the new "you". I have a long way to go but I'm ok with that. This is my road and it will only make me stronger. This is the road I choose to run.
I welcomed 2010 just like everyone else wanting and hoping for a better year. I guess I thought fate would play a large part in how the year unraveled and to some degree this is true. Somewhere around February I realized that my choices were going to have a larger impact on how good or bad my year turned out. I made the decision to break through my glass ceiling and turn my love of running into my lifestyle.
I registered for my first half marathon and ran it in May. The results were not what I expected or desired. I crossed that finish line my emotions seemed to take over the "Joe" that was weak and beat up from a failed marriage and that constant feeling of failure seemed to leave my heart. I began to believe that I could conquer anything.
The months rolled and the running mile began to pile up. Before I knew it I was back in Columbus, Ohio for my second half marathon. I was feeling strong and confident. A new "Joe" was emerging. At the end of that race I had a noticeable improvement in speed and endurance. Later that afternoon at a running expo promoting the Columbus Marathon I decided this was going to be my next accomplishment. I left Columbus to head home and didn't quite realize the road I was on. My year was unraveling in a way I never expected and it was all because of my daily choice to get stronger not only as a runner but as a person.
October 17, 2010 the Columbus Marathon. Wow was I nervous! I'm in Columbus flying solo and it was like everything that I had experienced over the past few years was challenging me all over again. The gun sounded and I was off and running. The range of emotions that I battled over those 26.2 miles transformed me into a stronger man a transformation that I didn't expect. All of the heartache, weakness, confusion and anger was left behind me littering the streets of Columbus.
So last night when I was out celebrating the New Year all of this started to cross my mind. The "Joe" that started the year was definitely not the same that was finishing it. I smiled throughout the night as I listened to people state their new resolutions, but somewhere knowing most of those new beginnings will fall to the wayside as 2011 passes through. I've let go of some toxic thoughts and feelings that have been polluting my heart and mind for the past several years and I'm stronger for it. 2010 I learned to be comfortable in my own skin. There is a common misconception that people don't change. After 2010 I can firmly say that they do and they can. It's a choice we all have the ability to make, but it's a choice we have to make every day until it becomes the new "you". I have a long way to go but I'm ok with that. This is my road and it will only make me stronger. This is the road I choose to run.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thankful Thoughts
It's December and the long cold winter is just starting to settle into Northeast Ohio. The pace of the world seems to be moving at light speed with most everyone gearing up for the holidays. The seasons first snowfall has covered the area and the bitter temperatures of the year are only beginning to take hold. The landscape of the countryside where I live has fallen into a deep slumber, leaving me wishing, wanting and needing warmer days. This is the time of year when I usually begin complaining about living in a northern state, but with that said the change in season also leaves me thinking of everything I'm thankful for.
The hustle and bustle of the Christmas Holiday is in full swing. The stores are full of cranky shoppers and roads packed with irritated drivers. This is what the holidays are all about (inject a hint of sarcasm here). Listening to the complaints around me on a daily basis, including my own I paused last night to reflect back on a time when this season was innocent and fun.
This time of the year has always been my favorite but the events in my life over the past few years has cast a dark cloud over, not just this holiday but, in all honesty all of the holidays. Last night while at Yoga the instructor was telling us to take deep breaths and release our day. Given that I didn't have a taxing day I decided to reflect and let go of everything that has been on my mind as the Christmas holiday approaches. I let go of the shattered traditions I've built over the past 10 years with my family. Some of the traditions I carried on from my childhood that made the holiday even more special. I let go of the anger, sadness and stress that my heart and mind has been carrying. Maybe I needed someone to tell me to let it go or maybe I was looking for a reason. Whatever the motive, with those deep breaths that weight on my soul was lifted and instantly I recognized the positive changes I've made in my life.
That night on the drive home I realized that I am a completely different man compared to three years ago. That thought put a smile on my face because I'm a better man. Maybe it's getting older or maybe it's understanding who I am, but I'm thankful that I found the courage to continue down my road. One thing is for certain. My road will never come to an end and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for all of the opportunities and experiences that are down my road that I have yet to discover. Most of all I'm thankful for all of the family and friends along the side of my road that have the patience and understanding to witness and tolerate my success and failures. So with the Christmas season in full swing I'm thankful for the true gifts in my life. My family and friends. Merry Christmas and a Happy NEW Year !!
The hustle and bustle of the Christmas Holiday is in full swing. The stores are full of cranky shoppers and roads packed with irritated drivers. This is what the holidays are all about (inject a hint of sarcasm here). Listening to the complaints around me on a daily basis, including my own I paused last night to reflect back on a time when this season was innocent and fun.
This time of the year has always been my favorite but the events in my life over the past few years has cast a dark cloud over, not just this holiday but, in all honesty all of the holidays. Last night while at Yoga the instructor was telling us to take deep breaths and release our day. Given that I didn't have a taxing day I decided to reflect and let go of everything that has been on my mind as the Christmas holiday approaches. I let go of the shattered traditions I've built over the past 10 years with my family. Some of the traditions I carried on from my childhood that made the holiday even more special. I let go of the anger, sadness and stress that my heart and mind has been carrying. Maybe I needed someone to tell me to let it go or maybe I was looking for a reason. Whatever the motive, with those deep breaths that weight on my soul was lifted and instantly I recognized the positive changes I've made in my life.
That night on the drive home I realized that I am a completely different man compared to three years ago. That thought put a smile on my face because I'm a better man. Maybe it's getting older or maybe it's understanding who I am, but I'm thankful that I found the courage to continue down my road. One thing is for certain. My road will never come to an end and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for all of the opportunities and experiences that are down my road that I have yet to discover. Most of all I'm thankful for all of the family and friends along the side of my road that have the patience and understanding to witness and tolerate my success and failures. So with the Christmas season in full swing I'm thankful for the true gifts in my life. My family and friends. Merry Christmas and a Happy NEW Year !!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Treasure Hunting
Running has been an incredible stress reliever for me, it clears my head and puts my soul at ease. Every once in awhile one of my runs turns into an experience. These experiences are sometimes brief, sometimes spur thoughts and sometimes just put a smile on my face. Today was one of those days that sparked all three and made my run complete.
The first moment that crossed my path today was shortly after my run began. Less than a half mile into my route I had the pleasure to soak in some rays of heat that the sun was blessing me with. Under a bright blue fall sky those flashes of heat that were so brief on this cool crisp fall afternoon warmed not not only my body but my soul as well. As I continued on I began to think that if everyone just stole a few minutes today to breathe in the last bit of warmth the sun was offering this part of the country just might be a happier place. With that thought in my head I continued down my path.
Three miles into this jaunt I start down a narrow country road. There was no shoulder to run on and traffic was picking up as people were making the commute home. This stretch of my route is a steady incline and provides no room for error either on my part or the passing drivers. Usually I'm the first person to condemn and complain about the driving skills of the people in my town, not today. The drivers on the road today were extremely vigilant and friendly. At times stopping to give me extra space and passing along a wave and a smile. As I continued to grind the up the hill those small treasures that people shared with me made my day a little brighter and the hill a little bit easier.
At this point in my run I started to notice the little things that I came across. The small, seemingly insignificant things I take for granted or just fail to notice. For example a caterpillar making his way across the road. This made me think about all the the hardships that everyone goes through. The difficult decisions everyone has to make from time to time in order to make it to the next chapter of our lives. The hard decisions we know we have to make just to live a happier more peaceful life. I didn't stick around to see if the little guy made it across the road, but his journey stuck with me. His journey reminded me of the times I knew a friend was going through a hard time and I offered advice but didn't follow through to help them cross their road. I carried this thought and the thought that I could be a better friend at times for the next few miles until I found my next treasure that the countryside offered.
Most of my hill workout was complete and I was headed home. I started down one of my favorite stretches of road. The path is a narrow country road with no traffic flow. The road runs along a huge red barn and some overgrown fields. This stretch always has some type of gem waiting for me to discover. On this gorgeous fall afternoon it didn't disappoint. Making my way up to the barn a flock of wild turkeys were coming out of the field. This actually made me laugh, the sight of 12 or 13 turkeys waddling down the road away from me was kind of funny. I noticed one of the turkeys was left behind trapped behind a dilapidated fence. No sooner did I notice this, the flock that was waddling away from me stopped, and made their way to the side of the road to waited for the one left behind.
If we all were so lucky to have family and friends waiting for us as we struggled getting over and through our own fences in life the world just might be a better place. As I passed the flock I looked back and the turkeys made their way back to the one that was lost. I pushed on with a smile making my way to the open farm fields just up one of the last hills of the run. Running down the last part of my favorite road is usually where I soak up the sun and notice all of the amazing colors beaming from the fields yet to be plowed over. A peaceful calm feeling usually comes over me at this point in the run and like always that stretch of road didn't fail me.
I don't remember much of the last two miles with those thoughts grazing through my mind, but I do recall reaching my driveway with a smile. This run just seemed a little different. My eyes were open and my mind was clear. All of the small treasures in life that I just pass on by because my life is so busy made an impact on me and made my run that much more enjoyable.
The next time you are off running the kids to football or soccer practice; the next time you are going to the store or running off to that meeting stop for a second and take in one of the small treasures that are all around us. You don't have to be a runner to enjoy the small wonders in life, but if you're able to pause and notice the beautiful colors in the sky or that butterfly that floats across your path, you just might have a better day and in the end isn't that what we all want ?
The first moment that crossed my path today was shortly after my run began. Less than a half mile into my route I had the pleasure to soak in some rays of heat that the sun was blessing me with. Under a bright blue fall sky those flashes of heat that were so brief on this cool crisp fall afternoon warmed not not only my body but my soul as well. As I continued on I began to think that if everyone just stole a few minutes today to breathe in the last bit of warmth the sun was offering this part of the country just might be a happier place. With that thought in my head I continued down my path.
Three miles into this jaunt I start down a narrow country road. There was no shoulder to run on and traffic was picking up as people were making the commute home. This stretch of my route is a steady incline and provides no room for error either on my part or the passing drivers. Usually I'm the first person to condemn and complain about the driving skills of the people in my town, not today. The drivers on the road today were extremely vigilant and friendly. At times stopping to give me extra space and passing along a wave and a smile. As I continued to grind the up the hill those small treasures that people shared with me made my day a little brighter and the hill a little bit easier.
At this point in my run I started to notice the little things that I came across. The small, seemingly insignificant things I take for granted or just fail to notice. For example a caterpillar making his way across the road. This made me think about all the the hardships that everyone goes through. The difficult decisions everyone has to make from time to time in order to make it to the next chapter of our lives. The hard decisions we know we have to make just to live a happier more peaceful life. I didn't stick around to see if the little guy made it across the road, but his journey stuck with me. His journey reminded me of the times I knew a friend was going through a hard time and I offered advice but didn't follow through to help them cross their road. I carried this thought and the thought that I could be a better friend at times for the next few miles until I found my next treasure that the countryside offered.
Most of my hill workout was complete and I was headed home. I started down one of my favorite stretches of road. The path is a narrow country road with no traffic flow. The road runs along a huge red barn and some overgrown fields. This stretch always has some type of gem waiting for me to discover. On this gorgeous fall afternoon it didn't disappoint. Making my way up to the barn a flock of wild turkeys were coming out of the field. This actually made me laugh, the sight of 12 or 13 turkeys waddling down the road away from me was kind of funny. I noticed one of the turkeys was left behind trapped behind a dilapidated fence. No sooner did I notice this, the flock that was waddling away from me stopped, and made their way to the side of the road to waited for the one left behind.
If we all were so lucky to have family and friends waiting for us as we struggled getting over and through our own fences in life the world just might be a better place. As I passed the flock I looked back and the turkeys made their way back to the one that was lost. I pushed on with a smile making my way to the open farm fields just up one of the last hills of the run. Running down the last part of my favorite road is usually where I soak up the sun and notice all of the amazing colors beaming from the fields yet to be plowed over. A peaceful calm feeling usually comes over me at this point in the run and like always that stretch of road didn't fail me.
I don't remember much of the last two miles with those thoughts grazing through my mind, but I do recall reaching my driveway with a smile. This run just seemed a little different. My eyes were open and my mind was clear. All of the small treasures in life that I just pass on by because my life is so busy made an impact on me and made my run that much more enjoyable.
The next time you are off running the kids to football or soccer practice; the next time you are going to the store or running off to that meeting stop for a second and take in one of the small treasures that are all around us. You don't have to be a runner to enjoy the small wonders in life, but if you're able to pause and notice the beautiful colors in the sky or that butterfly that floats across your path, you just might have a better day and in the end isn't that what we all want ?
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